the vet will flush clean and give you anti inflamms /antibiotic /pain killers ect find some one.in receipt of housing benfits and get up pdsa they do a good job for what they are. Looks quite nasty too hope you get it sorted atb
I like the karate midget idea, you get an intruder release the midget and shout SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND like pacino in scarface.
A flock of geese sound like a good idea.