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mel b

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Everything posted by mel b

  1. mel b
    What fish did you use ?. I love fish , but I'm not always keen on fish " in things ".
  2. mel b
    It looks like you're eating poor man's food today mack. It looks spot on .
  3. mel b
    The civilised side of my brain , says that we can't do that in a civilised society, but the angry parent in me , wants to hold the vile c**t down , while the parents peel his skin off .
  4. mel b
    You've met my wife then .
  5. mel b
    I always do my best to keep in shape. Today's shape is a sack of potatoes .
  6. mel b
    You're making a rod for your own back , he'll expect it all the time . If he ever says do you want to pop round and see some hamsters , just run !.
  7. mel b
    He's just woken up in next door shed again . Give him an hour to sober up and he'll be raving about olives again .
  8. mel b
    It's French of course. Everybody knows that all binmen are fluent French speakers. He haw he haw he haw. It wasn't woodland dining , it was a locally sourced multi cultural meal ( it came from the greek chip shop up the road). You seem to have got quite a few things stuck up your bum over the years , im starting to think that it might not be accidental .
  9. mel b
    Tarte au steak et aux rognons en epi a la dido. Obviously I went for the healthy option , not like dido , he's just a f***ing savage .
  10. mel b
    Bang on the money juke .
  11. mel b
    In theory , up to four years. In reality , they'd probably just confiscate it.
  12. mel b
    It wasn't a gastric ballon mate , it was a space hopper .
  13. mel b
    It was kicking off a bit last night , at the holiday inn. My mate sent me a video. I don't think it got too serious.
  14. mel b
  15. mel b
    I like that , I like that very much .
  16. mel b
    If I ever had a massive lottery win , I'd open a place just like that . It would lose a fortune in this country , but it wouldn't bother me . I'd just wonder around it all day talking about shooting and fishing. Edited to add. I don't do clothes shopping . When I need clothes , it usually goes like this. Wife. " you need some new trousers , you look like a feckin tramp! " Me. Eh ?. Two days later, and me being vaguely aware that something in my environment isn't quite right. Wife . " will you put your tea down , and feckin stand still while I turn these trousers
  17. mel b
    That salt and vinegar would give you a right nasty rash mate . You'd need to rub olive oil on your old lad
  18. mel b
    He'd be on that like a tramp on hot chips .
  19. mel b
    To be honest , I'd rather my mrs spent £500 than have to go shopping myself. I go shopping about once every five years , and it's like supermarket sweep. I come home with all manner of odd shite.
  20. mel b
    When you said you'd plugged a few olives , I thought you meant something entirely different .
  21. mel b
  22. mel b
    You clearly don't understand the issue. White people no longer matter .
  23. mel b
    He's in Norfolk. It's a bit like prison , only with more black people .
  24. mel b
    All I can say , is that it's your own faults . Shopping is a feminine issue , it's a bit like periods and washing up , and a gentlemen should never involve himself in such matters. A gentleman should only ever purchase items from , gun shops , fishing tackle shops , and public houses. If you disagree with me , you're a homo ! .
  25. mel b

    BBQ Smoker

    mel b replied to FLATTOP's topic in General Talk

    God that's gonna taste good
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