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mel b

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Everything posted by mel b

  1. mel b
    I bet you didn't get a cold for the rest of the winter though .
  2. mel b
    Don't worry ol mate , I'll be sending you a freshly washed hamster , dressed in a santa suit , and we'll lubricated with goose fat . That'll take your mind off the Kings speech. Ho ho ho .
  3. mel b

    Please Donate !!!

    mel b replied to WILF's topic in General Talk

    You best hope she never sees this .
  4. mel b
    I filled the car in 6 hours and came home . Fortunately , I was just in time to catch your denial sir .
  5. mel b
    Now come on , you put much worse in your mouth than an olive .
  6. mel b
    God I bet that tastes fantastic. I wouldn't have taken the veggies out though.
  7. mel b
    Those mushrooms look like they taste fantastic.
  8. mel b
    I'll try anything once , but hairy nostrils is a line that I would never cross .
  9. mel b
    Ooohhh , I do love a big fat Cuban
  10. mel b
    Theirs worse jobs I suppose . I smell it every day , it seems like half the people that drive or walk past me are using it , and it pretty much all smells the same , apart from the odd one that really stinks something awful.
  11. mel b
    Where do the names come from mack ?, or does it simply taste like black cherry cheesecake ?.
  12. mel b
    Meh , I've done worse . He looks more suited to rugby than football to be honest.
  13. mel b
    Many years ago , I worked in a slaughterhouse. You wouldn't believe what some of the dirty filthy xxxxx get up to . I can only hope that hygiene standards are a bit higher these days. Shop bought meat is a last resort in this house. We mainly eat game that I've harvested and butchered myself .
  14. mel b
    You could always tiptoe through the tulips .
  15. mel b
    Kippers is a good smell .
  16. mel b
    I greatly admire your thinking sir .
  17. mel b
    Inbred , illiterate, rotten teeth . That's your average Tipton bird right there .
  18. mel b
    I'm very disappointed in you . Ugly should never be an excuse for not mounting the beast . My mates favourite saying is " faint heart never xxxxxx a pig "
  19. mel b
    Is that some manner of hair dryer that you're sitting on ? .
  20. mel b
    Having read through his policies , I can confirm that he's talking more sense than the main political parties . I particularly liked his policy that all cars will run on venos, to avoid congestion .
  21. mel b
    I empty my sack three times a week , do you think I'll go to heaven mack ? .
  22. mel b
    Sorry tats , my mistake. I thought you meant that the government could start sending illegal immigrants to Rwanda. I must start paying more attention .
  23. mel b
    You're joking ?. I thought it would go straight out of the window.
  24. mel b
    Talking of rodents , how are you finding those new jumbo hamsters ?.
  25. mel b
    I like that letter very much. She has a bigger pair of balls than anyone else in parliament.
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