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mel b

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Everything posted by mel b

  1. You'll be making me blush like a virgin after her first kiss .
  2. We're you getting a card for a special friend mack .
  3. Where do you live king ?. We've got enough turkey to feed another 6 or 8 people if you're stuck mate.
  4. I can tell by your grinch like demeanour, that you didn't clip the hamsters nails this morning .ho ho feckin ho santa claus .
  5. You're just jealous of the attention I get when I undress in a gay bar .
  6. That's me in full on party mode
  7. That food looks delicious, yet sounds homosexual
  8. That looks suspiciously close to diced hamster to me .
  9. News doesn't come much better than that .
  10. In fairness , the donkey said that you were pretty good at hand jobs .
  11. mel b

    Sciatica

    Same here . Not being fully with it , really wears you out.
  12. mel b

    Sciatica

    Dude the rejection hurt more than the broken leg
  13. mel b

    Sciatica

    I've just remembered the time that I was in hospital with a broken neck( it was only a cracked vertebrae). I'd been given morphine and something else , and was taken for a scan in a wheelchair. I was sitting in the chair minding my own business , when someone walking past asked me if I was OK. It turned out to be a stunning blonde nurse . She lifted my head up , and said is it just the medication love? , all I could do was sort of grunt , but as this stunning nurse looked at me , I could feel the dribble running over my bottom lip , and down my chin .
  14. mel b

    Sciatica

    It took me by surprise when I had the scan . I forgot to add broken neck to the list as well .
  15. mel b

    Sciatica

    The last time that I had a really bad episode with my back , I was given gabapentin and Co codamol . I lost about 6 weeks . I'm not one for getting stoned and I really didn't enjoy the experience. Several things that I do remember, are the amazingly beautiful colours of the goldfish , that were living in my toilet bowl , and being able to understand what the birds were saying , as I sat outside the caravan in my woodland. My Mrs reckons that I was listening to them for 4 hours before I snapped back to reality. My back was still agony , I just didn't care .
  16. mel b

    Sciatica

    I should have added . I wouldn't swim in the sea if I lived in Blackpool. I'd rather keep the bad back .
  17. My mate had a huge terrapin in his koi pond for years . If he ever needed to do anything that involved putting his hands in the water , he'd have to drain it until he could find the terrapin , then remove it while he did the work , because it used to try to bite him . He was scared to death of the thing .
  18. mel b

    Sciatica

    I only tried the swimming baths. To be honest , if I lived by the sea , I'd swim every day . I love swimming in , the sea , rivers , lakes , but I really can't get excited about swimming pools.
  19. Fair play to him , we all need to make a living .
  20. mel b

    Sciatica

    I tried swimming, but it didn't work for me. I'd guess that everyone is slightly different, and the pressure is in a slightly different place. I didn't honestly think that walking would help much , but it's turned out to be a life saver.
  21. Is that how he's earning the money for his new coat .
  22. mel b

    Sciatica

    My back is agony no matter if I'm in a thin phase or a fat phase. The full list is. Arthritis Osteoarthritis 5 bulging discs 1 collapsed disc Major sciatica on the left Minor sciatica on the right It's fecked for plenty of reason Too fat sometimes , lifting weights that are stupidly heavy ( I used to be able to lift the back of most cars to get axle stands underneath) , working as a mechanic for years( and lifting engines in and out on my own) , working as a lorry driver for years , and a knife straight through my leg. Whenever I walk , I ha
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