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mel b

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Everything posted by mel b

  1. mel b
    It wasn't a gastric ballon mate , it was a space hopper .
  2. mel b
    It was kicking off a bit last night , at the holiday inn. My mate sent me a video. I don't think it got too serious.
  3. mel b
  4. mel b
    I like that , I like that very much .
  5. mel b
    If I ever had a massive lottery win , I'd open a place just like that . It would lose a fortune in this country , but it wouldn't bother me . I'd just wonder around it all day talking about shooting and fishing. Edited to add. I don't do clothes shopping . When I need clothes , it usually goes like this. Wife. " you need some new trousers , you look like a feckin tramp! " Me. Eh ?. Two days later, and me being vaguely aware that something in my environment isn't quite right. Wife . " will you put your tea down , and feckin stand still while I turn these trousers
  6. mel b
    That salt and vinegar would give you a right nasty rash mate . You'd need to rub olive oil on your old lad
  7. mel b
    He'd be on that like a tramp on hot chips .
  8. mel b
    To be honest , I'd rather my mrs spent £500 than have to go shopping myself. I go shopping about once every five years , and it's like supermarket sweep. I come home with all manner of odd shite.
  9. mel b
    When you said you'd plugged a few olives , I thought you meant something entirely different .
  10. mel b
  11. mel b
    You clearly don't understand the issue. White people no longer matter .
  12. mel b
    He's in Norfolk. It's a bit like prison , only with more black people .
  13. mel b
    All I can say , is that it's your own faults . Shopping is a feminine issue , it's a bit like periods and washing up , and a gentlemen should never involve himself in such matters. A gentleman should only ever purchase items from , gun shops , fishing tackle shops , and public houses. If you disagree with me , you're a homo ! .
  14. mel b

    BBQ Smoker

    mel b replied to FLATTOP's topic in General Talk

    God that's gonna taste good
  15. mel b
    Pewit. Can you have another debate with yourself please , because that's as funny as f**k .
  16. mel b
    It looked amazing , but sounds like it was made in a lab by a chemist named imran. That pink drink looks like it'll taste so sweet , it'll make you shudder mack .
  17. mel b
    Feck me , that's what you call an icecream
  18. mel b
    My woodland tea. Let's have a cold tea I said , it'll be scorching at the woodland I said . It's pissing with rain and freezing cold .
  19. mel b

    Warm nights

    mel b replied to Borr's topic in General Talk

    It's amazing . I've been sweating my balls of at work all week , and now I'm sitting in my woodland and it's pissing with rain , and I could do with a jumper .
  20. mel b
    Come on juke. You must realise that you're better than the French .
  21. mel b
    I only thought things like that happened in Norfolk
  22. mel b
    That all depends on my mood .
  23. mel b

    Migrants

    mel b replied to Bangersanmash's topic in General Talk

    It's Sickening. Especially when most of them won't even be paying council tax in the first place. I can see why the council do it , it's just easier,and cheaper to give them extra bins , or collect it more often ,rather than having to go back and clean the mess up when it's scattered all over the place , but it really sticks in your f***ing throat.
  24. mel b
    It's gone straight on my " to do " list .
  25. mel b
    You're a f***ing animal . I love you .
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