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mel b

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Everything posted by mel b

  1. mel b
    I dunno mate . I reckon one of them has seen a fair bit of action .
  2. mel b
    They couldn't handle your fine quality literature mate .
  3. mel b
    As long as you've learned something from it , we'll move on , and never speak of the matter ever again .
  4. mel b
    You should try it mate , you could be the next Barbara Cartland . I can just imagine it. " Elsie was pissed , and was gagging for it , so Alf give it her up the shitter on the back lawn . They'd be queueing up to buy it mate .
  5. mel b
    Have you ever thought about writing erotic novels mitre ?. I reckon you'd make a fortune mate .
  6. mel b
    That f***ing told you rick stein .
  7. mel b
  8. mel b
    You've had the holiday of a lifetime . Thankyou for sharing it with us . You'll be tripping over your bottom lip when you have to go back to work .
  9. mel b
    I expected you to say that's what you did when your younger brother had ringworm .
  10. mel b
    I can't belive you hacked my account , and wrote things like that about my sweet beautiful darling wife , that i shall love until i draw my last breath , and then for eternity . You're a right c**t you are .
  11. mel b
    You don't want to do a swap do you stav ?. Mine usually gets asked for a pension book as ID. She'd be perfect for you mate , as she can't cook worth a wank either .
  12. mel b
    I'm a relative newcomer to the delights of the pheasant and black pudding combination . They go together absolutely fantastically well mate . Was it a homemade pie ?.
  13. mel b
    Stop talking , or you'll just prove him right .
  14. mel b
  15. mel b

    Migrants

    mel b replied to Bangersanmash's topic in General Talk

    Yep, native Europeans are being replaced .
  16. mel b
    It's deliberate. It just f***ing has to be . No f****r on God's green earth is stupid enough to do something like that accidentally.
  17. mel b
    Stop it , you're just making him hornier. I bet he's tugging himself around the bedroom like a f***ing maniac now .
  18. mel b
    He'd lick it like a big dirty toffee apple .
  19. mel b
    Yeah yeah , you'd be licking it like a jack Russell with a yoghurt pot .
  20. mel b

    Chemotherapy

    mel b replied to dytkos's topic in General Talk

  21. mel b
  22. mel b
    It's delicious , but it's definitely heartburn territory mate.
  23. mel b
    Well. It all started one night, when an opium fuelled ditchman was walking through the graveyard , on his way to see queen Victoria.
  24. mel b
    Well to be honest , he's not that bothered about a pulse .
  25. mel b
    I absolutely love chorizo fried with potato .
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