Jump to content

mel b

Donator
  • Content Count

    2,873
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    13

Everything posted by mel b

  1. Ditchman will know mush. I said to him one day , " how low can you f***ing go " , and he said " well I can manage a jack Russell " .
  2. It's a shame , because I love the cinema . I get in there all excited , get my popcorn and coke , then as soon as it goes dark , I'm fast asleep. One time I fell asleep, and dropped one of those big buckets of popcorn all over the floor and the people in front , and another time I was fast asleep and my phone started ringing( id turned it off ) . I woke up , jumped up to get it out of my pocket , then started swearing because I couldn't stop it ringing . I was stood there like a right c**t swearing and cussing, when I realised it wasn't my phone , it was some other blokes phone , and h
  3. Cheers tats. I don't really do the cinema . I love it , but I'm usually asleep within a few minutes of the lights going off , so my mrs won't go with me.
  4. Thankyou very much mate . I'm a big fan of the series. Hopefully the film will be as good.
  5. mel b

    Pet hates.

    In all honesty wilf , I haven't let my lads look in bins for years . The shit you breath in will f***ing kill you. I only pointed out all of the rules a few months ago to wind seagull up , because he's such a f***ing bell end.
  6. Only two toast ????. You're a bit of a puff if you ask me .
  7. mel b

    Pet hates.

    A lot of health and safety is good stuff , but a lot of it is complete and utter nonsense . Our guys at work run around in live traffic all day (sometimes dual carriageways etc ), dragging a pair of bins behind them( the first few hours in the dark at this time of year) , but they aren't allowed to cross the roads when they're back at the yard . It's f***ing ridiculous nonsense dreamed up by a pencil pusher that knows f**k all. I have to take a 30 minute tacho break , and the toilet is a 6 minute walk because we're not allowed to cross the road , and have to walk half way around the
  8. Has anyone seen the new peaky blinders film yet ?..
  9. mel b

    Pet hates.

    Yep . Most of your average council workers day is taken up by doing mentally retarded shite , because some mental member of the public , complained to some mental pencil pusher that knows f**k all . It makes us look like complete twats , that are lazy and thick . That's the way that local government works . I dread to think what it must be like at Central government level.
  10. mel b

    Pet hates.

    I see you've worked for the council then wilf . That sounds like my daily routine.
  11. He was a vile beast, and the world is a better place now that he's gone.
  12. mel b

    Pet hates.

    I call mine the spastic , and sometimes the angry dwarf , because she's short and vexed .
  13. mel b

    Pet hates.

    My mrs became a curling addict during the winter Olympics. She's taken to sliding around the house on one foot ,,and has ruined the laminate.
  14. I'd be all over that mate.
  15. f**k me dai , it's like something from Harry Potter.
  16. One of my favourite breakfasts , is rabbit liver and kidneys on toast. When I'm out early with the rifle , I'll put the rabbits livers and kidneys in a bag as I gut them. When I get home, they gets washed , and left to soak in salty watcher , while I , skin , butcher, vac pac, the rabbits . Then my mrs fries them up with garlic and onions while I have a shower , and serves them up on crunchy brown toast . The same goes for venison kidneys . I often give some venison away , but I never give the kidneys away, they're always mine .
  17. Worst case of pussy whipped I've ever seen to be honest juke .
  18. His condition is said to be ....satisfactory .
  19. mel b

    A synopsis

    It's worth going just for the view mack .
  20. mel b

    A synopsis

    Funnily enough , I was talking about that with one of the lads at work last week.
  21. mel b

    A synopsis

    I've always fancied a go at skiing. I'm too old to start now though .
  22. mel b

    A synopsis

    Did you manage to get the rust stain off it .
×
×
  • Create New...