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darkie

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Everything posted by darkie

  1. river monsters has to be the best telly program on at the moment ,why isnt there more fishing, hunting on the telly ?
  2. theres always time for lubrication
  3. a dog, a woman and a walnut tree ,the more you whip them the better they be.
  4. you never see a farmer on a bike
  5. man bites dog, i had to keep stopping the film to get some fresh air and wonder why i was watching it.its probaly really dated now.but then im really lame
  6. whatever your opinions i dont think we have seen the end of that young lady ,this could be the start of something...
  7. ive been away from london too long,when did they get trams?
  8. when i was at school 20 odd years ago a teacher told me that he and his brother were driving fast along a country lane when suddenly there was a splat and the whole windscreen was covered in blood .There was no bone ,fur or feather on the windscreen just a shed load of blood and no damage to his car. he had no idea what caused it,the mystery is he must of hit something with his winscreen but there would of been traces of skin or guts or something.
  9. Im a blacksmith and have worked on some prestgious jobs ,cathederals, listed buildings ,tall ships ,castles and the like. ive earned good money in the past site welding i dont earn good money now (im an employee) but it seems theres only so far you can go with trade qualifications ,people with degrees in proffesional jobs seem to keep rising .What im saying is even though i enjoy my work and get a buzz out of working metal looking back i wish i wasnt such a twat at school and paid attention
  10. your the real joey deacon ? Are you still living in that bungalow that the blue peter team built for you?
  11. wild pigs mackem ,not bona fida wild boars but domesticated pigs that have gone feral ,some of these pigs were desendants of shipwreck survivors from the days of captain cook and his like.the poodle type dogs surprised me though but i suppose you use and breed whatevers availble .
  12. one rainy evening in fiji ,me and a swiss guy got bored smoking dope and drinking beer and decided to fish for cane toads using the silver foil from a fag packet ,we twisted the foil into a rough fly shape ,tied it to about 4 metrers of fishing line and cast out in front of the toads ,we didnt have to leave our chairs ,dope or beer because there were every where, the rain and lights attacted them. A few seconds of jigging the fly and they would pounce ,hell they would fight wouldnt want to let go and squirting poison from there backs eventually they would spit it out and clear off.going back t
  13. a scotsman told me once " in scotland we dont throw out our bairns ,we eat them " he was as hard a f**k
  14. mind you he also told me that he used his daughters tortoise as a ferret,he lost it under ground twenty years ago but still go,s back looking with a bit of lettuce as bait every sunday because they can live for a very long time.
  15. are you telling me that theres truth in what hes saying??????????
  16. the bus dont get up this way much im afraid, weve got to make our own entertainment
  17. I know a bloke who swears blind that if you put pepper on a stone ,a rabbit will sniff it ,and the resulting sneeze forces its buckteeth into its brain killing it instantly.I know that this is bollocks but he is adament its not ( i suspect inbreeding) please help to dispel this nonsense and publicly humiliate him
  18. pop over the border to hereford ,they love the welsh there.
  19. another time i caught a mackeral at tenby.While i was gutting it for the barbeque lionel blair jumped out and started tap dancing and singing the oakey pokey.
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