-
Content Count
404 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Articles
Gun Dealer's and Fieldsports Shop's
Reloading Room
Blogs
Calendar
Store
Classifieds
Status Updates posted by deadlyshot
-
I think I may give up offering people a chance of going out if all people do is take the piss
-
Anyone fancy a bit of digging tomorrow
-
Why is it I get up at the crack of dawn drive an hour and 15 minutes go check all earths and nothing go and then go to the couple of badger setts that are about and have a sniff of an entrance and what you got fox poxy bloody foxes stop being so lazy and get your own earth
-
finally back to work with the same company that keeps laying me off lets see how long im there this time
-
I was having a shit in the train toilet when the ticket inspector knocked on the door and asked for my ticket. "Not right now" I said, "I'm having a shit." ''I dont believe you , can you slide it under the door'' he replied. "No problem" I said ''the yellow bits are sweetcorn !''
-
Got my driving test tomorrow hopefully there will be a big fat pass certificate lol
- Show previous comments 1 more
-
goodluck
-
Cheers fellas the amount of money it costs they should present me with a new car taxed mot and insured with a tank full of petrol lol if only eh
-
best of luck mate
-
I shagged an ugly Chinese bird in a lift. I know, I know.....I was f****n Wong on so many levels.
-
I'm in the doghouse again!. The Mrs said "if you turn the lamp off, I'll take it up the arse". Maybe I should have waited until the bulb cooled down a bit.
-
I made my girlfriend's dreams come true & married her in a castle........ although you wouldnt have thought it from the look on her miserable f****n' face as we we're bouncing around,
-
Well happy Christmas lads shouldn't be on here NOW but thought I'd say happy crimbo to you all and have a good new year!
-
Wanna know the secret to making a girl go mmmmmmmmmmmmm all night? Duct tape!
-
I made a romantic meal for my wife and called out " honey, dinners ready " I then heard the moaning of sexual pleasure as she replied " mmmm , just coming baby " and she let out a giggle. So I walked into lounge to find her lying naked on sofa, seductively stroking her pussy " Why dont you make me come " she purred. So I punched her in the face and screamed " f*****g DINNER . . NOW ! "
-
just got in from having a mooch with the terrier nothing tonight saw more people than i would of liked to at this time of night
-
sister spent £800 quid getting her car fixed last week its now in a ditch what a knob lol
-
Anyone got any wormers for sale I did see someone had some up for say the other week but I didn't realise that I didn't have any left let's me know if you do cheers
-
A Scotsman and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the wife died suddenly. The undertaker said it will cost £5000 to ship her home or £50 to bury her here. The husband said ship her home. The undertaker said "but Sir why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money." The husband said "listen here pal, a long long time ago a man called Jesus was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead....... Shes goin f****n home!"
-
my wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that help you get an erection.you should of seen her face when i came back and tossed her some slimming pills.
-
My kids keep on taking the piss out of my alzheimers. Wait till the cheeky little c**ts wake up on christmas morning to find no eggs under the tree!
-
A woman set her fanny on fire by accident, Her husband said stand on the balcony and let the wind blow it out.But she slipped and fell.Paddy and Murphy were stood below,watching the flaming fanny hurtling towards them, paddy said to murphy is that hayleys comet? Murphy said don't talk f*****g stupid its a Twatalite