I know it says swipe the collar with the box, but have you tried just holding it there a couple of seconds? Sometimes I`ll swiipe it and it turns it on and off, and I`ll have to do it again, sometimes twice.
I prefer to use the key fob magnet too. Someone on here said its a bigger magnet than the one in the handset, and therefore makes a better contact in the collar. I dont know how true this is, but it works for me.
As for a 2nd collar, you can get them pretty much everywhere online, for around the same money, or a cheaper 2nd hand one from ebay.....