THE STIFFMEISTER

I’ve said this but with my luck it would get out after a week and that would mean I’d have to move house

Overrated and underwhelming mate I just can’t do them mate . Nothing else bothers me , ever, Swam in the sea at night in the carribean , walked through forests on my own in Africa , soon as them soulless wriggling motherfuckers turn up , I’m like a 3 year old crying for his mam . I’m that scared of them I can’t even pick up a robot or toy one . there’s summat about them that gets under my skin

Mentally ill

every time we go to Stockton we have to go into that fish shop with the f***ing pythons in . Does me in , normally leads to a domestic in the shop , with her giggling and making hiss noises at me as we stare at some f***ing canoe sized rock python that is 350 quid away from being taken home by some f***ing moron in a terraced house . for afters a blazing row in the car park and a silent journey on the way home. all fun really

f**k that feet up on the couch

There’s summat about them that make me feel vom not a normal food / meat cut never liked them , I don’t eat pork anyway but it’s definitely not in my palette regardless of the meat

Sausages are f***ing jank there I’ve said it

I’d have to blow my own head off

No mate , but it was f***ing biblical

A platoon of stiffmeisters

It’s extra long , for pulling him back out of Mchulls dogs arse

Bonny jukel , what’s the recipe ?

That was my code name when I went kayaking the sea wolf