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dytkos

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Everything posted by dytkos

  1. dytkos
    There you go mate. Cheers, D.
  2. dytkos
    Cheers, D
  3. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  4. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  5. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  6. dytkos
    I tried to play frisbee with my dog at the park this morning. It was useless. I think I need a flatter dog. A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her f***ing appendix out!" Cheers, D.
  7. dytkos
    What's the difference between George Best and Princess Diana's chauffeur? Best could take corners when he was pissed. The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits. She's got a point, I suppose... I work in a hammer factory. Cheers, D.
  8. dytkos
    Katie Price says her first two recipes on Celebrity Masterchef will be inspired by her personal life. For starters, there's the Caribbean sausage in cider. Followed by extra thick black pudding. In order to make Katie Price feel right at home on the set of Celebrity Masterchef. The judges will be flinging most of her food up the walls. Cheers, D.
  9. dytkos
    You not got any plates mate? Cheers, D.
  10. dytkos
    He's got a missus? ? Cheers, D.
  11. dytkos
    Still a prick ? Cheers, D.
  12. dytkos
    Have a guess. Cheers, D.
  13. dytkos
    Cod loin, prawns and spinach Cheers, D.
  14. dytkos
    6:00 am today Cheers, D.
  15. dytkos
    Calm down mate he's in New Zealand ??? Cheers, D.
  16. dytkos
    Gareth Gates had to cancel his planned comeback concert in Chester last night.... He ordered a taxi to get to the gig but ended up in Chichester Cheers, D.
  17. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  18. dytkos
    The wife was in the kitchen the other morning cooking me bacon & eggs when I suddenly heard a loud thud. Running in I found her collapsed on the floor & not breathing. I was in a blind frenzy, I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered, Wetherspoons do an all-day breakfast for just £3.99 Cheers, D.
  19. dytkos
    Contrary to best medical practises, Ryan Giggs’ wife received both of her jabs on the same night. Cheers, D.
  20. dytkos

    Cuckoo

    dytkos posted a topic in General Talk

    Just (04:45) heard my first cuckoo of the year ? Cheers, D.
  21. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  22. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  23. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  24. dytkos
    Cheers, D.
  25. dytkos
    Prick ? Cheers, D.
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